The Blessings of a Stay-at-Home Mom
There are so many blessings in being a stay-at-home mom, but I think the biggest one is that we get to see our kids. All day, every day, we see them. We know what they are doing, and we are not worried because we are taking care of their every need. They are in good hands and not being abused as some of us were. Why do our lives seem to be making sure it doesn’t happen anymore?
The sacrifices of a stay-at-home mom
At first, these so-called sacrifices don’t seem like sacrifices at all. I mean, who would not give their all to make sure their child had everything they should? Other than someone who was not in their right mind. Most of us would give up everything. When I became a stay-at-home mom this time, I did not feel like I was giving anything up. In fact, I felt like I was gaining the whole world.
But as time went on, I started to feel like I was being surrounded by a cage. Locked away from the world, anxious and afraid. Suddenly, I needed to ask permission to do anything because the babies came first, so anything I wanted came after. And I have been fine with that; it’s 11 years later. The cage has gotten smaller while they keep getting bigger. All the while, I am losing, and I feel unnoticed in this big, bad world.
What it’s like being a stay-at-home mom
Going anywhere other than the normal errands, for like, food, doesn’t happen. I get to be available for school in case one of the three kiddos gets sick. I don’t get to go to work. I work from home by cleaning the home, cooking dinner, and making after-school snacks for the kids. So I don’t get to contribute to household income, therefore I don’t get a say in the money. Less money. Less human contact. No one to talk to. ALL THE TIME.
So what used to be the biggest blessing of my life becomes a constant guilt trip because I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough, not good enough, and as if my parenting and my life are just in need of something more than me.
Sacrifices of a working mom
But what about the sacrifices of the working mom? They have less time to clean their house. They have to drive in rush hour traffic. And rarely get to see their babies. Let alone time for self-care. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have seen working moms crush this in all areas of life. But I’m talking to those of us who just aren’t quite there yet. This was me anyway. These were my biggest complaints while I was working.
Trying to start a business as a stay-at-home mom
So I have been trying this for a couple of years now. And I have been a stay-at-home mom for the majority of this time. And I have to say it’s hard when you are starting with nothing and from nothing. I literally have nothing to build on. And I thought I was gonna quit my job (which I had to, due to a lack of childcare), but the point is, I was gonna quit my job and go into writing full-time. Then I got depressed.
I have to say it is hard to start something when you no longer see the point in life. When life has run you down so much, but I digress. Obviously, every day isn’t this way, but just the majority.
Trying to start a hobby
My husband suggested I try to start a hobby, but I thought that’s what my blog (that I couldn’t keep up) was. A hobby. Something new that I was enjoying learning. The problem is that blogging costs money to do and to upkeep. And I don’t know how to do anything else. But I have this for three years, so let’s see if I can make anything out of it. I need to put in the hours, though.
How “Walking the walk” is going
Life is hard right now. Being a stay-at-home mom has been very challenging to live and breathe knowing that our next breath might be our last or that it’s going to cost us.
Exercising has been few and far between. I’m only getting on my treadmill about 2 times a week, which is at least 2 to 3 times. 4 to 5 days a week is ideal for me right now. The kids are just getting off spring break, so I have a little leeway. But I didn’t look for ways to do it on spring break. Just whether or not the paydates lined up with the time I had to be back home to make dinner. I did take a walk today, though.
Using my light for depression has become something lately. It seems to be helping. I have no clue why I don’t use it during the winter when I really need it. It’s spring now, so the sun will be coming out more and already has been.
I did my meditating for today and for the last couple of weeks. 10 minutes is what was suggested to me. Because I take suggestions really well and orders not very well at all. So in all the walking the walk keeps getting paused by life and I’m just along for the ride.
Conclusion
Walking the walk has been hard lately, but I’m pushing through. Parenting in general is hard and while there are literally thousands of parenting books (some of which I’ve read), nothing compares to working the problem without them or with just an idea of how parenting should be.
We all have our own way, and no one way is right or wrong. My goal is to make sure they are happy and have a majority of what I couldn’t have! I can admit that I am definitely not a perfect parent, but it’s not for lack of trying. All I can say is I am doing an ok job of it this time. My first time parenting was a total bust and I messed it up bad. So this time… not so bad.
